


It's Hard to Believe You Love Me When the Trust Just Isn't There

by jadebrycin2116



Series: Trust Me [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Break Up, Drama, Emotional Hurt, Fights, Love, M/M, Part 1, Unhappy Ending, Young Derek Hale, alpha pack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-06
Updated: 2013-08-06
Packaged: 2017-12-22 15:30:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/914884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadebrycin2116/pseuds/jadebrycin2116
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Is this some sort of joke?” Stiles asked. </p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Well I just can’t seem to figure out why you, Derek Hale, fairly popular star of our varsity basketball team would be talking to me…unless it was a joke or a bet or a deal, like Cruel Intentions or something.”</p><p>“Why does it have to be that? Why couldn’t it be that I just wanted to talk to you?”</p><p>“We’ve lived in the same town our whole lives and been at the same school since Beacon Hills Middle School. You never once talked to me before. You didn’t even know my name. I have a hard time believing you want to talk to me now unless you plan to embarrass me or something.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Hard to Believe You Love Me When the Trust Just Isn't There

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this gif by Hearstafool on Tumblr. 
> 
> http://heartsafool.tumblr.com/post/56343424381/sterek-hsau 
> 
> Please check on the AU, it's pretty awesome. 
> 
> This story is also posted to Tumblr. 
> 
> http://textsfromteenwolf.tumblr.com/post/56845920072/its-hard-to-believe-you-love-me-when-the-trust-just

School sucks.

It always has and it always will. That’s pretty much a constant is Derek’s life. It might be the _only_ constant in his life. What with the family, and the packs, and oh yeah…the fact that sometimes he turns into a werewolf in a town full of hunters, it’s the only thing he can count on. School might suck, but it’s definitely an escape. It keeps him grounded in reality and maybe he needs that.

**XXX**

It’s a Tuesday. Derek remembers that much clearly. He’s walking down the hallway with a group of his team mates making inside jokes at the expense of others and pretty much walking around like they own the place, because they do. Everyone in this small town knows Derek and his friends, _everyone_.

It’s as they’re walking that it happens. _That’s_ when he sees him.

Erick, _or maybe it was Dave_ , takes a hand to his back and points down the hallway. “And that Stilinski kid-” he starts and Derek looks up to see who he’s talking about.

Who the hell is that? He’s pretty sure he’s never once heard of this kid and once he lays eyes on him, he _knows_ he’s never seen him. He wouldn’t forget somebody like that. The guy’s definitely beautiful, even if it is in an unconventional, yet weirdly average sort of way. He’s got low cut brown hair and some of the smoothest, albeit pale, skin Derek’s ever seen.

“Wait, _who_ is he?” Derek asks, eyes focused firmly down the hall at a tall, awkward, teen fumbling with his locker.

“You know, _Stilinski_ , the sheriff’s kid. Really awkward and runs around with that Scott guy.”

It doesn’t ring any bells. Neither of those names sounds familiar to him. Then again, he doesn’t care about too many people other than the guys on his team and his family members. “That tells me nothing.”

Erick shrugs, “Well I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was my job to keep tabs on every outcast and nobody on campus for you. Last I checked, my job was to rebound and score baskets.” He laughs obnoxiously at his own joke and hi-fives one of the other players. Derek just rolls his eyes. Why the hell does he even hang out with these idiots?

“Why do you even care?”

But Derek isn’t even listening anymore. He’s already decided he’s just going to have to find out the answer for himself.

**XXX**

It doesn’t take long for opportunity to present itself and Derek doesn’t mind. He’s never really liked sitting around and waiting anyway. Plus, he’s been thinking about the kid since he laid eyes on him just a few days ago and he would love to get on with his life. His team mates are starting to get tired of his lack of focus in practice and its playoff season.

He’s in the library. It’s a Friday and Derek’s searching the aisles for some incredibly predictable classic to do his English book report when he sees him again. It’s the same kid from that hallway, _Stilinski_. He’s sitting alone at a table, nose deep in an old dusty book as if he’s genuinely interested in what it has to say. He cares, and Derek thinks that’s actually kind of adorable.

He knows he should find a book, but he’s almost one hundred percent positive learning this kid’s first name will be way more fulfilling than finding a book for this report, so the decision on what to do next is fairly obvious. He walks towards the other teen and stands right in front of the table. He doesn’t expect so much time to pass, but he feels like he’s standing there forever and this kid hasn’t even looked up yet. Clearly he’s going to have to put more effort, which is fine, but usually it’s easier than this. Not to be shallow, but Derek Hale isn’t used to having to put in a lot of real effort when it comes to dating and things of that nature.

“Hey,” Derek starts and that earns him too deep brown eyes peeking over the top of the book at him. “My name’s Derek.” It’s forward, but maybe that can be a good thing.

The boy in front of him lays the book down and stares at him with his mouth agape. It takes everything Derek has not to laugh as the boy looks around the library, searching for someone else. But they’re the only two at the tables. Who else would Derek be talking to?

It’s still silent as they both just stare at each other for a minute. For a moment, Derek starts to have second thoughts. Maybe this was a bad idea? Like what if this kid is interested in girls or something? Maybe he shouldn’t have been so forward? But it’s too late to go back now so… “ _And you are?_ ”

Suddenly the boy in front of him snaps to attention, “Um…Stiles. My name is Stiles.” Derek definitely notices the way his tongue lingers on his lips after he says it.

_“Stiles huh?”_

Derek gets two confused nods in return. He’d love to ask him on a date or for his number, or anything that would remotely resemble the beginnings of a relationship but he stops himself. There’s a game tonight and a full moon in the next few days, which always has a potential to be dangerous. The timing wouldn’t work out, but he at least had to get talking to the boy out of his system. Now he can associate a name with the face and that’s a start.

“That’s good to know.”

**XXX**

So, he’s sure by now that he’s probably confused the hell out of Stiles, but that could be a good thing right? Now he’ll be curious. The more curious they are in the beginning, the easier it is to interest them later.

It’s killing him though, seeing Stiles around and not saying anything. Now that’s he’s talked to him, Derek can hear his voice through the halls as he talks to his friends. So far he’s learned that he likes online role playing games and curly fries. He can smell Stiles even if the boy’s across the building and he likes it. It’s like a faint scent of sandalwood and fresh cut grass or something, very nature like. And when he can’t see him or smell him, he’s thinking about Stiles in ways he isn’t comfortable telling other people about. Yeah, having a crush is nice but it’s infuriating all at the same time. He’s waited long enough and Derek’s starting to lose focus again. Besides the moon has passed. Now he needs to say something to him before the sound of Stiles’ voice drives him crazy.

So when he sees Stiles walking down the hallway dressed in his usual plaid shirt and smelling especially outdoorsy, he just runs with his instincts. “Hey Stilinski!”

Stiles stops, which is a good start, and Derek bites his lip as he watches the boy turn around and make eye contact. He looks well, _confused_. Derek was expecting, or at least hoping for, a look of excitement but at least the kid stopped at all.

He walks up to him and all he earns is a raised eyebrow. That doesn’t seem like a very good start. “Hey what’s-”

“Derek right, from the other day in the library?”

Derek stops mid-sentence, kind of caught off guard, but nods anyway. “Y-yeah.”

“You talked to me and then walked away,” Stiles points out. Derek can detect a twinge of bitterness in his voice, and he can smell the apprehension.

“Yeah but-”

“Is this some sort of joke?”

That catches the young wolf off guard. He has no idea where that would come from but Stiles’ heartbeat is slightly elevated, like he’s upset. “What do you mean?”

“Well I just can’t seem to figure out why you, _Derek Hale_ , fairly popular star of our varsity basketball team would be talking to me…unless it was a joke or a bet or a deal, like _Cruel Intentions_ or something.”

The example throws Derek off, but he likes that Stiles has an imagination. “Why does it have to be that? Why couldn’t it be that I just wanted to talk to you?”

“We’ve lived in the same town our whole lives and been at the same school since Beacon Hills Middle School. You never once talked to me before. You didn’t even know my name. I have a hard time believing you want to talk to me now unless you plan to embarrass me or something.”

“You don’t have very high self-esteem, do you?”

“And you obviously don’t have very good social skills.”

There’s still irritation in his voice, but Derek is starting to get the feeling that Stiles’ wasn’t really mad. He just had his guard up, which is smart. He should have his guard up, but not for the reason he thinks. Derek embarrassing him is the least of his worries.

Derek smirks at him, “That’s rude.”

“Well you’re-what do you even want, because I don’t have time for this,” Stiles says and he really does look a little anxious, like he might have somewhere he wants to go.

“You’re upset, but you don’t even know what _this_ is.”

Stiles glares and throws his arms out, “So _tell_ me.”

Derek opens his mouth but gets but Stiles is talking again before any words can escape his lips. “And don’t lie either.”

It brings a slight curl to the edge of his lips, “You want to hang out with me?” he asks and the look on the other boy’s face is priceless. Derek can sense all of the emotions in a wave –confusion, intrigue, annoyance. “Just you and me, tomorrow night?”

“Wha-why would…I don’t… _what?_ How does that even answer my question?”

“Doesn’t it? I’ve talked to you twice now, of my own free will by the way. I’m asking you to spend time with me, _just me_ , tomorrow night. I’m being serious and obviously, I’m interested in you. So…”

Even though the scene around them is loud and chaotic, it’s quiet between the two of them. He’d never admit it, but Derek is nervous as he waits for an answer. All Stiles is doing is looking at him, eyeing him up and down skeptically. “You think I’m going to say yes, don’t you?”

“Aren’t you?”

“You shouldn’t think so highly of yourself Derek Hale,” is all he gets before Stiles is ascending the stairs into the next hallway.

**XXX**

To say that the suspense has been killing him is an understatement. If he thought Stiles was driving him crazy before, the last twenty-four hours have been excruciating. All he’s been thinking about is the conversation they had the yesterday in the hall. It didn’t go nearly as well as he thought it would. Usually he’d just give up, somebody else is always interested, but something about Stiles is keeping him around, something more than just his face. This guy is different. Now Derek’s determined and he’s just going to have to be a little more persistent.

He’s waiting by Stiles’ locker after last period, which isn’t like him at all. It’s clear he’s in way too deep and he doesn’t even know this boy.

What the hell is happening?

It doesn’t take long, a minute or two maybe? Derek can hear him before he sees him. He’s laughing about something with his friend Scott before he hears Scott ask…

_“Dude, why is Derek Hale standing by your locker?”_

_“I don’t know. I think…I…Look I’m gonna go handle this. I’ll talk to you later alright?”_

Within a minute, Stiles is standing in front of him rolling his eyes. “What are you doing standing by my locker?”

“Waiting for you, _obviously_.”

Derek watches as the other boys eyebrows furrow and he motions for him to move aside so that he can get into his locker. “But I thought I wasn’t supposed to see you until tonight?”

That definitely surprises him. “And I was starting to think you weren’t interested.”

“I never said I was.”

“But you just said-”

“What? All I said was that I thought you were at least going to wait until tonight to bother me?”

 _Wow_. So hands down, this is the most difficult conquest Derek has ever pursued. He’s hoping it’s worth it, because Stiles is definitely a little pain in the ass.

“What do you want from me?” Stiles asks, “If I hang out with you tonight, will you leave me alone?”

Derek shrugs and agrees because Stiles may want to be left alone now, but after tonight, Derek’s sure that won’t be the case anymore. “Yeah, why not?”

**XXX**

“So this is like a date?” Stiles asks when he sees Derek is taking him to the movie theatre in the middle of town. He hasn’t said much else, other than ‘thanks’ when Derek opened the car door for him at his house. Besides that, he’s been mostly observant. His heartbeat a little fluttered, but not alarmingly so.

“Well yeah, is that a problem?” Derek glances over flashing a smile. Stiles just shrugs.

“No, it’s fine.” He looks indifferent honestly and he has since Derek showed up. He didn’t bother to wear anything other than his usual plaid shirt and jeans. He hasn’t smiled much. He hasn’t seemed all that enthusiastic at all actually. It’s kind of starting to bum Derek out. He just hopes the night goes alright.

**XXX**

The movie goes over well. They both seem to enjoy themselves. Stiles even seems to loosen up a little when Derek takes him out for curly fries afterwards at his favorite diner. He had reservations at a real restaurant but something tells him that would’ve made Stiles more uncomfortable than he seemed in the beginning. Stiles is fairly early to please he’s slowly realizing.

They’re sitting in the car and Stiles is quietly snacking on a to-go order of curly fries when Derek leans against the window. He’s just watching and it’s fascinating to him that Stiles can be so content with entertaining himself and a batch of fries. This is the happiest Derek’s seen him look all night, at least until he makes eye contact.

“What are you staring at? Do I have something on my face?” He starts to wipe at it frantically and Derek just laughs. If he’s noticed anything tonight, it’s that Stiles is kind of a spaz but it’s not a bad thing. It’s funny and kind of cute actually.

“You want to get out of here?” Derek asks once Stiles is convinced that his face is clear.

“And go where?" He would look skeptical, if it wasn’t for the fistful of food he shoves in his mouth afterward, “Because if you’re wanting to get lucky, it’s gonna cost you a lot more than a movie and two orders of curly fries. I’m not that easy.”

Both of Derek’s hands shoot up in defense and he can’t help but let out a slight laugh, “It’s nothing like that. I just thought we could go somewhere and talk some, get to know each other better."

"… _talk some?_ Y-yeah okay. We can ugh…we can do that."

"See, I’m not that bad. What kind of guy do you take me for?"

Stiles cheeks tint red and he looks out of the window, “You shouldn’t ask questions you probably don’t want to know the answer to."

**XXX**

When Stiles actually allows Derek to take his hand, the wolf can’t say he isn’t surprised. It isn’t exactly _intimate._ He’s just leading Stiles through the woods but, he’ll take what he can get.

_"Where the hell are we going?"_

_"Where are we?"_

_"Why are we in the woods?"_

_"Where are you taking me?"_

_"Ow, what the hell was that?"_

Stiles keeps asking questions and even though Derek wants to look back and tell the spaz to just shut up, he can hear his heartbeat rising and he can smell the fear on him. He doesn’t want to scare him after it took an arm and a leg just to get to this point in the first place.

"Geez, just trust me. I’m not gonna hurt you. We’re almost there alright."

Stiles can think of at least seventeen more questions he could ask, but he just bites his lip instead. “A-alright. I’ll trust you."

A few minutes later they hit a clearing and there it is, the old distillery. It’s one of Derek’s favorite escapes and yeah, it’s a little creepy but harmless for the most part.

"You brought me to an abandoned building on our first date? This isn’t the least bit romantic. I mean look at this place. Is this even safe? This looks like the sight of a horror movie."

Derek just rolls his eyes, “I think I’m starting to miss the beginning of this date, when you were barely talking to me."

The other boy doesn’t say anything, just pouts excessively and takes his hand from Derek’s, shoving it into one of his pockets. He follows Derek into the distillery, albeit very reluctantly. He’s scared, that’s a given and if he wasn’t serious, the wolf might even find it kind of humorous.

"Stiles, I’ve been here plenty of times. Trust me, there’s nothing to be afraid of okay?"

"Who said I was afraid?"

Derek can’t exactly tell him that his heartbeat is off the chart so he simply says, “I just assumed, because you were asking so many questions."

"Maybe I’m just curious?" He pouts.

Derek walks forward, leaving his back to Stiles as he walks into the middle of a dark, empty, room. " _Maybe?_ ”

He can hear the sounds of Stiles’ sneakers scraping the floor as he speeds up a little to keep up with the him, “Or maybe I am a little nervous…but it’s not so much this place."

When Derek turns around he isn’t expecting Stiles to be right behind him. His hands are still shoved awkwardly into his pockets and his head is down, facing the floor. “Well what is it then?"

"It’s more you."

Stiles doesn’t even try to hide how offended he looks when Derek starts to laugh. He even shoves Derek’s shoulder. “I’m being serious asshole! What’s so funny?"

The wolf stumbles back a step, still chuckling as he attempts to gain his composure. " _I_ make _you_ nervous? How? Do I scare you?"

It’s dark, but Derek can still make out the faint shrug he gets in reply, “A little?"

"Wait, _really?_ " He asks. Suddenly he feels remorseful. What could he have done? There’s no way Stiles knows he’s a werewolf. What other reason would he have?

"Well yeah, but not for the reasons you might think."

"I don’t think I understand?"

He watches Stiles take a deep breath a fumble around with his hands some. He’s calmed down, but he’s still nervous. It’s better than terrified, but all Derek wants is for him to be comfortable. He doesn’t know why, but he _likes_ this kid. He’s different, _interesting,_ and he wants it to work.

“ _You_ don’t scare me, not physically at least. I don’t think you’re out to hurt me, on that level…but I know who you are. Everyone does. I’ve seen you around school, I’ve heard about you, but I never thought you would-I just find it hard to believe you would take an interest in _me_ , especially after you talked to me in the library and waited days before even looking at me again…If I had to be honest, I’m afraid that if I let my guard down around you, all you’re going to do is hurt me."

Derek’s jaw drops slightly and he’s well, he’s surprised definitely. That’s why Stiles acted the way he did in the hallway. That’s why he’s been so apprehensive. He thinks Derek’s out to hurt him, maybe even break his heart. He knows he has a reputation but he didn’t think it was like that. “You think that I would do that?"

Stiles nods and shrugs all at the same time, “I don’t know…that’s what I’m afraid to find out."

There’s silence between them for a moment. Stiles is gnawing at his bottom lip and his eyes are darting around the dark room spastically. He’s pretty much just put himself out there and he’s hoping it doesn’t come back to bite him in the ass. Maybe that was too much for a first date?

Derek can hear a mild sigh of relief escape the boy’s lips when he opens his mouth to say, " _You don’t have to be afraid of me._ _”_

He’s not sure if he should, but he reaches a hand out and places it on the other boy’s arm. Stiles looks down, but he doesn’t flinch or ask Derek to move his hand.

"I’m not going to hurt you."

"How do I know that? How do _you_ know that?"

"I don’t, but if you give me a chance, I’d try not to."

Derek thinks he’s getting somewhere. His touch has yet to be declined. They’re talking and Stiles isn’t totally blowing him off. Stiles even looks like he’s letting his guard down…for a moment. Then his face is twisting up again, and he’s looking at Derek with a sour expression.

"What’s that look for?"

"I just…I _want_ to trust you. I mean I already kind of do and I like you, _then again who doesn’t?_ But…"

"I get it. We just met. This is asking a lot…but what if I told you that I’m just as worried about hurting you as you are about getting hurt? I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I saw you and all I’ve wanted to do since I asked you your name is learn every stupid little detail about you. I’m not sure why yet, but I like you. I want you to trust me. I _want_ you, and I _want_ you to want me too."

Stiles is blushing, _hard_ , and he hates himself for it but he hopes it isn’t too noticeable in the dark. Derek waits in anticipation for a response and he can’t recall a time he was more anxious in his entire life.

"I don’t…I don’t believe you," Stiles says and Derek realizes that all this talking isn’t doing anything for them. If he wants to make progress, he’s going to have to _show_ Stiles something.

"Well believe this," and then suddenly his lips are crashing against Stiles. The other boy is reluctant at first, but after a few seconds he eases into to it.

It’s everything they both hoped it would be and more. It’s desperate and satisfying, immediately easing the tension building up between the two of them; and Derek can’t help but notice that this is the safest and most at ease Stiles’ has felt all night. His heartbeat is still beating fast, but now it’s out of excitement instead of fear.

Derek’s got a hand on the back of Stiles’ neck, pulling him in as if he never wants to let him go; and he can feel two warm hands sliding themselves up the hem of his shirt.

They finally pull apart, both panting slightly and trying to make sense of what just happened. Derek looks Stiles right in his eyes with a smirk on his lips and receives the exact same expression back. With his hand resting in the other boy’s short hair, he pushes their foreheads together and gives Stiles another, slower kiss.

"I thought you said you weren’t this easy?" He whispers.

Stiles just rolls his eyes, “Yeah well, I say a lot of things."

They both share a short laugh before leaning back into each other. The moment however magical, is brief. Suddenly Derek’s pulling his face away, but gripping at Stiles’ jacket and holding him closer. " _Did you hear that_?" He asks, his voice low and obviously worried.

The eyes of the boy in his arms go wide, “No, why? Should I have?"

Derek’s looking around, eyes shifting back and forth. The more worried he seems, the more scared Stiles becomes. The sound of his heartbeat increasing is like a bass drum in the back of Derek’s head.

"What is it? What did you hear?"

_Twigs snapping. Leaves crunching. Growls. Snarling._

Not to mention the scent.

_Werewolves._

Other werewolves are coming. They’re coming right to the distillery and there’s a lot of them.

Derek grabs the other boy by the arm, “Someone’s coming. We need to get out of here."

Stiles follows as Derek drags him towards the back, but he’s full of questions, “What? What’s going on? What did you hear? You’re not telling me anything."

He pulls his date through a back door and slaps a hand against his over active mouth, “Shut up, Stiles, _please."_

He nods in understanding and continues to allow Derek to pull him towards the car. He’s silent until Derek drives off and they’re back onto the streets of Beacon Hills. Then he can’t hold his tongue any longer.

_“What the hell Derek?"_

"Stiles I’m sorry," when he glances over he can see the boy’s irritated expression, “I shouldn’t have even brought you there."

"No shit. The place was sketchy from the beginning. And then you _hear_ something and what it was I don’t know because you didn’t even tell me!"

He messed up. He knows. He just hopes Stiles isn’t going to use it against him. “Did that…did that just ruin everything?"

He doesn’t look over because if the answer is yes, he doesn’t want to see it plastered all over the other boy’s face.

Instead he hears a reluctant sigh, “You swear you heard something?"

"I wouldn’t lie to you."

"Fine…then I guess you can make it up to me sometime.”

Derek smiles to himself a little and nods, “I would like that.”

**XXX**

And he does try his hardest to make it up to him. Derek’s still not sure why he’s trying so hard, but there’s just something about Stiles. He’s never looked at somebody and felt this way about them, and the more he gets to know the boy, the worse it gets.

Within the next few weeks, Derek’s pretty sure they’ve seen every cult movie playing in Beacon Hills, tasted every curly fry order this town has to offer; and somehow Stiles has convinced him to come over and watch his entire Star Wars collection. And Derek still can’t get enough. It’s like he’s falling in love with every little quirk this boy has to offer…

Like the way Stiles moves his hands all over the place when he’s explaining something he’s passionate about or how he strives to know every little detail about new subjects. The way he can go from being focused to distracted and ranting in a matter of seconds, and never catch himself. Derek could listen to it for hours. He doesn’t think he’d ever get tired of watching him anxiously chew his pencil at his desk as Coach Finstock gives lectures in class. He could go on for hours listing little things he’s noticed about Stiles like that he almost always swings his backpack over one shoulder when he carries it, he prefers to drive with just his left hand on the wheel, he has over sixty five different plaid shirts but wears his favorite at least once every week, his favorite drink is root beer, he’s legitimately read every book assigned in school cover to cover, and so many more small things. Derek’s not sure he knows this much about his own family members.

It’s ignorant bliss, but it never lasts.

There’s a lot going on that’s affecting Derek’s _other_ life.

There are packs in Beacon Hills, a lot of them. Derek’s not sure he’s ever seen this many packs at one time. The night he heard him with Stiles at the distillery was their first night there. He hasn’t been told anything directly, but he’s overheard a few conversations and he knows things are serious. Something about Ennis’ beta being murdered after killing a hunter and revenge.

Now, Derek’s been singled out as a target by hunters and his own kind because of his family name. He hasn’t personally done anything, he’s not even directly involved, but he’s a werewolf – _a Hale_ –and that’s good enough for everyone around him. Hunters want to kill him. Other alphas seek to use him, as a bargaining chip, to force Talia into a revenge war she doesn’t approve of. It’s just been harder to be a werewolf around town lately. It seems like whenever he’s out with Stiles, he’s looking over his back and seeing a hunter or being followed by other beta wolves. He’s scared for himself, but he’s _terrified_ for Stiles.

It’s getting harder to create excuses for why he and Stiles can’t be certain places or hang out after certain times. He can’t figure out how to explain that full moons are completely off limits or where he’s going when he ditches Stiles mid-date or why he’s always asking him to make sure he locks his doors at night.

Sure, neither of them has ever feel this way about any other person, but his secrets have become constants in the relationship and Stiles is frustrated. Derek can tell…

“And so we can’t hang out this Saturday night because?”

Derek looks over at his boyfriend and sighs. It’s a full moon Saturday night, that’s why. “I have a thing…a family thing…”

“Oh a family thing? And last weekend it was school thing. And the weekend before when we walking around downtown and you suddenly ended the date an hour into the night by driving me home and telling me you forgot you had this _thing_ to do with your Uncle."

"Stiles I-"

"You’re sorry, I know. I’m sorry too. I’m sorry that my boyfriend doesn’t actually want to tell me what’s he’s really doing or where he’s really going or why he doesn’t trust me," he’s mad at first but by the end of it he’s pouting sadly and looking at Derek with eyes that are just begging for a real answer. Stiles just wants something believable to work with and Derek has nothing for him. He never does.

The wolf looks away, hoping it’ll lessen his feeling of guilt when he replies, “I-I trust you."

"Well maybe I’d believe you if you _acted_ like it," Stiles spits as the bell rings, “Don’t bother coming to find me at lunch. Scott and I are going to be practicing anyway."

It’s a lie, he can tell; but he’s pretty sure that by the time lunch rolls around it’ll be the truth.

**XXX**

When lunch rolls around Derek finds himself alone, mostly by choice, sitting outside watching Stiles from a distance. It’s not discrete by any means, he’s in plain sight. He knows Stiles can see him, but he’s too distraught to care. Their conversation earlier, their whole relationship honestly, has been plaguing his mind all morning.

He’s been wondering what he should do. He can’t tell Stiles the truth. He just can’t. It would scare him away and rightfully so. Derek would think Stiles was an idiot if he didn’t. Derek was a werewolf.

_Werewolves were dangerous._

It would be too much to ask Stiles to stay if he knew and he didn’t want to let him go…but maybe he needed to? It was the whole “if you love something let it go" concept. As far as Derek was concerned, the idea was stupid, but it might have been his only option. It was better than Stiles hating him for being a werewolf.

_“He knows we can see him right?"_

Derek’s ears perked up at the sound of Scott’s voice addressing Stiles. They’d been talking before this but he hasn’t really cared enough to listen in until now.

_"Who Derek? Yeah I’m pretty sure he knows."_

Scott glanced over at the wolf nervously before turning back to Stiles, _“Your boyfriend scares me sometimes dude."_

_"I’m pretty sure he’s harmless. I just wish he would stop keeping me in the dark all the time. I know he’s lying to me."_

_"Are you sure he’s not just busy?"_

_"All the time Scott, seriously?"_

_"It’s a possibility."_

"I don’t think so," Stiles says, taking his stick and tossing a ball towards his friend, _"I get the feeling he’s hiding something from me, ya know?"_

_"You don’t think he’s cheating do you?"_

Derek feels his stomach twist into knots as he watches Stiles shrug, _"Maybe? I mean, I still have trouble believing he likes me sometimes. I’m pretty sure, actually I know, he could do better than me if he wanted."_

_"Stiles that’s not true. He cares about you. I doubt he’s cheating. Why would he?"_

_"If he doesn’t care enough to tell me the truth, how do I know he cares enough to be faithful to me?"_

That’s when Derek stops listening because

_shit._

That’s what Stiles thinks, that he’s _cheating?_ And he didn’t even tell him. He told Scott. God, what is he doing? He’s supposed to care about Stiles, but clearly all he’s doing is hurting him. Either way Stiles is going to end up hurt…

So maybe Derek should just end it while its only emotional pain Stiles is suffering.

**XXX**

_"Look I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I was just being stupid and if you’re busy that’s fine, we can-"_

Stiles is ranting, which Derek has always secretly loved but never admitted to.

He’s ranting an apology his boyfriend doesn’t deserve and will definitely want to take back when Derek says what he asks Stiles to meet him for. They’re standing outside the Stilinski house even though Stiles did invite him in, the wolf couldn’t bring himself to accept, not when he knows what he’s about to do.

"Stiles don’t," he says, “You don’t need to apologize, trust me. You were right and you had every right to be upset with me."

The other boy raises an eyebrow. Derek’s almost never this easy. Yeah they’ve argued a few times, but Derek never liked to admit he was at fault, not this soon after an argument. “What do you mean? What was I right about?"

Derek takes a deep breath and scans the scenery behind his boyfriend. He doesn’t want to do this, but he has to if he wants his secret and his boyfriend to be safe.

"I’ve been lying to you."

Stiles’ heartbeat speeds up. It’s immediate. He’s nervous over what Derek’s about to tell him. It’s one thing to _think_ you’re being deceived. It’s another thing to _know_ it.

Stiles drops his jaw lightly, blinking excessively for a moment and stuttering as he tries to compose his thought. Dear God, he hopes Derek isn’t about to tell him what he’s been suspecting. But he knew it. This was Derek Hale, top of the totem pole, he should have known better.

"Wait-wh-what are-you’re not-tell me you’re not cheating on me and you’re telling me now to appease your own guilt?"

Derek had contemplated what he would say if this question came up. Should he just lie and say yes? It would be easy _, believable_. He can’t bring himself to do it though. It would probably crush Stiles. He’d been apprehensive about this relationship in the beginning, thinking he wasn’t good enough for the other boy. Derek doesn’t want to confirm that idea in his head. If anything, _he_ was never good enough for Stiles. All he was going to do was hurt him from the beginning.

"I’m not cheating."

A relieved sigh escapes his lips and he feels like he can breathe again but now the other boy is definitely confused, “Then what are you…"

"I’m ugh…" Derek starts, choking on his words. He doesn’t want to do this. He can’t even look stiles in his eyes, so he looks at the cement beneath his feet instead. “Stiles I’m breaking up with you."

He’s surprised when he hears his boyfriend laugh, “That’s a joke right?" You’re not serious?"

"Stiles I-" he doesn’t even get to finish before he’s cut off.

"Why would you-I thought…I trusted you. You said you wouldn’t hurt me."

He can hear the pain in the other boy’s voice. He’s practically drowning in the feelings of broken trust. “I know and I’m sorry but you just don’t understand."

"So help me to understand then," Stiles says almost bitterly through clenched teeth and furrowed brow.

"I…I…I can’t. It’s not that easy Stiles. This is bigger than you okay? I’m just going to keep lying to you and hurting you and I…Just know that I’m doing this for you…to _help_ you."

"Oh God, Derek please don’t feed me that bullshit. Don’t make it one of those ‘you’re not good enough for me’ things. That’s not even believable and this isn’t helping me. How would this help me?"

"I know I’m being vague but I can’t tell you _exactly_ why…and it’s better this way. It’s safe."

"What? What are you even talking about!"

The wolf understands his frustration. He can see the way the other boy wants to lose it and he’s glad that he doesn’t. That would make breaking up with Stiles that much harder. “I’m making sure you’re safe okay? You think I _want_ to do this? I don’t know how else to do it but…I _need_ you to be safe."

Stiles just sighs, accepting the fact he may never fully understand, “Safe from _what_?"

"Just…safe."

And Stiles looks heartbroken, which only makes Derek feel like he’s in agony.

**XXX**

It’s been a week, maybe two. It’s been hard to keep track between obsessing over Stiles from afar and attempting to stay safe. Derek’s been busy.

Though he hates being apart from the other boy, Derek’s grateful to have ended things when he did. The werewolf situation has only gotten worse. While some packs are striving for peace, others are out for blood; and the ones out for blood are ready to go above his mother’s head to get it.

She’s told him to be careful, to stay with Peter or his sisters, come home straight after school, try to go out only during the day. There are hunters and wolves all over Beacon Hills waiting for a Hale pack member to slip up, especially a child. The wolves, especially Ennis’ pack, need some sort of leverage to back Talia into a wall with, a reason for her to give in and allow them to have an all-out war against the hunters.

So Derek’s been laying low, staying alive and doing his best to make sure Stiles is safe. He’d hate to see him or one of his innocent friends get caught in the crossfire. Though he’s been keeping tabs on him, he’s barely talked to the other boy since the break-up…so when Laura calls Derek downstairs and says there’s a _Stiles_ on the house phone for him, he’s pretty shocked.

 _"Hello?"_ He says into the receiver in the kitchen. He has no idea why Stiles would call him, especially on his house phone instead of his cell.

"Where the hell are you? Is this some kind of joke?"

He’s heard that line before. Stiles sounds pissed and Derek has no idea why. He couldn’t have done anything? They’re not even associating with each other right now.

"I’m at home, _obviously._ What are you talking about?"

"You texted me and told me to meet you at the school in the locker room at nine-thirty. It’s nine-forty-eight now and here I am while you’re at home. Of course."

"Stiles I didn’t text-" Derek says as he goes through his pockets searching for his phone.

_Nothing._

He’d be willing to bet money it isn’t upstairs either.

His heart stops and suddenly he’s panicking, “Stiles get out of there! Get out of there _now!"_

"What? Derek what’s going on? What are you talking about?"

"Please Stiles," he begs desperately, thought he doesn’t answer the other boy’s questions, “I didn’t text you. Just _do_ it!"

Before Stiles can answer, Derek’s put the phone down and he’s out the door running. He completely ignores his sister’s calls and he’s going as fast as he can towards the school. Somebody took his phone, probably right out of his locker while he was in class or lunch or something. Somebody set him up. Now Stiles was at their school and knows what was about to happen to him.

_This is what he’d been afraid of._

It was one thing to harass him, he could defend himself. It was another to bring Stiles into this. He was just a human, an innocent one that Derek had unintentionally dragged into this mess. Stiles had trusted him. This was all his fault.

**XXX**

Stiles rolls his eyes at the ‘call ended’ screen on his phone.

 _Of course_.

Derek claims he hadn’t texted him, _whatever._ He’d probably wanted to talk and then pussied out at the last minute…or maybe he had _school things_ some up or _family things_ with his uncle or one of his other many excuses.

Stiles really didn’t care. He was tired of being hurt and lied to. He was stupid for ever liking Derek, for thinking that Derek could ever care for him back, and he was stupid for coming tonight. What had he even thought was going to happen? That they would get back together? Yeah right. He could hardly figure out why Derek chose him in the first place but in Derek’s defense he didn’t know Stiles. Now that he knew him, and he was rid of him, Stiles was almost sure that Derek was never coming back.

He shoved his hands in his pocket along with his phone and started to walk down the dark hallways of their high school, the entire time wondering what the hell he was thinking even showing up.

Stiles doesn’t really notice it at first, not over the sounds of his own thoughts but as it gets louder the sound becomes increasingly more clear.

_Footsteps._

And not just _his_ footsteps.

He stops, surveying the scene around him. “Derek?"

Nothing.

He tries again, _"Derek?"_

Nothing again…except the sound of more footsteps. Derek would have answered. Stiles at least knows that much. This isn’t Derek.

"Who’s there?" He asks, looking down the hall all the while slowly backing up.

That’s when he sees it, a big dark figure come into view. He stands well over six feet tall. If Stiles had to guess, this man was at least a solid two hundred and forty pounds, all muscle, easily. He had no idea who he was, but once Stiles saw the claws that escaped his fingertips and heard him growl from deep in the back of his throat, he didn’t want to. _Was this guy even human?_

His first instinct was to run, so he turns and he runs. He takes a moment to glance over his shoulders and whatever it is behind him, is gaining on him. He’s pretty sure it’s over. He’s going to die, in school, at night, at sixteen as a heartbroken virgin. He regrets not seducing Derek into sex while he had the chance.

The hallway’s long and filled mostly with lockers, but finally Stiles sees something, a little bit of hope. There’s a hallway. If he can manage to get around the corner maybe he’ll see a door or something and he might have a chance. It’s a long shot, but that’s all he’s got. Just as his hand reaches the knob, he hears something, the sound of a pained howl. He looks back and it awestruck for a moment. Surrounding the bigger man, is four or five smaller people all with claws and growling just like him. Their eyes are all yellow and one even has a hand in the man’s side. Holy shit…these are werewolves.

And Stiles even recognizes a few of them.

He’s stuck in place for a moment until one of the wolves tells him to run and suddenly his feet are taking off again. He’s running down the hall even faster than before towards a door. He makes it through, it’s a science classroom, a safely empty science classroom.

He takes a moment to try and catch his breath before he hears the door opening and his heart literally drops into his stomach but it’s just Derek.

_About time he would show up._

They’re silent at first, just staring at each other in awe. Stiles can’t believe what he just saw while Derek is just happy to see that Stiles is alive and unharmed.

"Derek what the hell is going on?" He finally asks and the wolf just bites his bottom lip, “I said what’s going on! You at least owe me this much! Why is it that I’m in the school in the middle of the night getting chased by some _monster…and your sister and uncle_ are one of them?"

"Stiles-"

"And don’t lie to me Derek because I know what I saw! I heard _Laura_ tell me to run!" Stiles is shaking now and Derek can’t quite tell if it’s because he’s afraid or about to cry or both. He needs to get him out of here so that he can calm down before he has a full-fledged panic attack or something.

He takes the other boy by the hand and pulls him towards the door. “I’ll tell you whatever you want but first we have to go."

**XXX**

"So you’re one of them?" Stiles asks, his voice low as if someone’s listening. The sheriff is at work Derek is sitting on their couch in the living room. Stiles is standing by the wall. He’s barely wanted to be near Derek since they made it safely to the Stilinski house.

Derek nods, “My family, we all are."

"So super strength, super speed, super hearing, all that?"

He nods again.

"S-so why was…what did that have to do with me? If you didn’t text me who did and why?"

Derek shrugs, because he’s not fully sure himself but he’s trying to give Stiles as much as he can. He does owe him that much. “I think it was an alpha named Ennis. He was trying to use you to get to me."

"What does he want with you?"

"Nothing. He wants my mom. A month or two ago, one of his betas was killed by a hunter and Ennis wanted revenge but that would lead to nothing but an all-out war. My mom, the other alphas look up to her, and they wouldn’t do it unless she allowed it. So some other wolves have been following my sisters and I. I guess he thought if he could get one of us, my mom would have to give him what he wants to get us back unharmed."

"So I was just a pawn then?"

Once again Derek nods and then it’s silent. All he can hear is Stiles’ spastic breathing and his heartbeat is still pretty sped up. He’s scared and he’s confused and Derek doesn’t blame him in the least.

Finally Stiles stops pacing and turns to Derek, a hand nervously running up and down the back of his neck. He sounds more hurt than Derek’s ever heard when he says, “Why didn’t you just _tell_ me?" He’s practically begging.

"I was afraid I’d scare you off," Derek says honestly, “I didn’t want you to leave me because of it."

Stiles is quiet for a minute but then Derek sees him narrowing his eyes in anger, “You didn’t even give me a choice!"

"Because-"

"No don’t Derek! You should’ve, you _could have_ , told me! All I wanted was for you to be _honest_ with me but you weren’t! You thought you were keeping me safe, but being safe and being oblivious are two different things! At least if I would have _known_ about you I wouldn’t have been blindsided! I was fucking terrified tonight! _Ter-ri-fied!_ I thought I was going to die…and you knew the whole time…

Every time you ditched me or cancelled or lied to me was because you knew there was a chance I could get hurt and you didn’t even tell me…all because you didn’t want me to leave? That is hands down the most selfish thing I’ve ever heard…I can’t believe…I…I wish you’d never even talked to me."

"Come on," Derek says, standing and putting hands out, palms forward. “Don’t say that. Let’s just talk about this."

He extends his hands and he takes a few steps towards Stiles, who frantically backs himself into a wall. He wasn’t afraid, was he?

"Don’t touch me!"

Derek stops in his tracks, completely ashamed that he could make Stiles feel that way, “Stiles I’m not going to hurt you…"

"I _know_ that dumbass! I told you before you don’t scare me. I just don’t want you to touch me, I don’t want you anywhere _near_ me, because you’re a fucking liar and I can barely stomach looking at you right now!"

It’s like a knife in Derek’s heart, but he’s confused. “What?"

"I don’t care that you’re a wolf! I don’t care that your life is complicated and dangerous, my dad’s the sheriff. I’m used to being afraid for other people…I just…even when I was skeptical, I trusted you every step of the way because I _loved_ you and you didn’t even care enough about me to _trust_ me."

Derek stands there staring at Stiles’ tear filled eyes, his own mouth agape. “You loved me?"

What the hell has he done? He thought that not telling Stiles would be helping their relationship but all it did was make it worse. All stiles ever wanted to know was that Derek cared, that he mattered to him, and he blew it. Stiles _loved_ him.

_He would’ve accepted him anyway._

It hits him like a ton of bricks and it hurts. When he looks at Stiles he can see a few real tears streaming down his face. “Stiles I don’t know what to say…"

 _"That’s it?"_ He says, “Not you’re sorry? You’re _always_ sorry but now you don’t know what to say? What about you trust me? I just told you I _loved_ you and you don’t know what to say?" He rants and every word has a bite behind it that makes Derek feel smaller than he’s ever felt before.

"Get out," Stiles growls, pointing at the door. He’s starts running his hands back and forth over his hair while trying to fight back tears. He’s about to lose it. When Derek doesn’t move he yells, “Get out! Get out! Get out! _Get out!"_

As much as he wants to say something, _anything,_ Derek is just speechless. He’s never seen Stiles this upset and it kills him to know that he’s the reason. He told Stiles he would never hurt him and that’s exactly what he did.

The minute he starts walking towards the door he hears Stiles’ back hit the wall before he slides down to the floor. He’s crying and Derek can’t stand to hear it. As soon as he steps out the door he’s running, and he doesn’t stop running until he’s far enough away that he can’t hear or smell Stiles anymore. He’s by the Celtic tree his mom loves so much. It’s comforting and shouldn’t remind him of Stiles, but he can’t stop thinking about him.

He falls to the ground by the tree and now that he’s stopped, he can feel the lump that’s formed in his throat and the tears burning at the back of his eyes.

God he messed up…

He could’ve told him. That’s all Stiles wanted, to be trusted, to feel like equals and Derek did the exact opposite. But he did trust Stiles. Why hadn’t had he said that? How could he be so stupid? Being aware of the threat would have made him safer, but Derek was so afraid of losing him that he pushed him away.

Now he’ll be lucky if Stiles even looked at him again.

**XXX**

It takes about four days, since Stiles doesn’t show up the rest of the school week, for Derek to see him again. It hurts, even more than he thought it would.

He’s walking up from his car that morning and Stiles is walking in with Scott. Even though he knows it’s none of his business, he can see they’re having a conversation and he listens in anyway.

 _"And you’re okay right? You barely answered my phone calls all weekend and I still don’t know what happened,"_ Scott says.

_"We had a fight about trust and stuff…but I finally got out of bed for something other than Ben and Jerry’s or curly fries so I’m doing better I guess. It doesn’t make it hurt any less, especially when I know I’m going to see him all day."_

Scott stops, looking over his shoulder, _"Yeah, starting now I guess."_

Stiles looks back and Derek doesn’t see an ounce of anything other than bitterness on his face. Stiles stares for a few moments and when Scott sees the look on his face he starts to get concerned.

 _"Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?"_ Scott asks.

Stiles looks right at Derek, knowing he can hear him when he says, " _I will be eventually. I mean it sucks because I’m always going to love him…but I’m not sure if he was ever going to learn to love me."_

He turns to walk away and doesn’t even glance back over his shoulder; in that moment he knew no matter what he said or did, things were never going to be the same between them because he did love Stiles.

And he’d done everything but convince him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!! 
> 
> Based on this gif by Hearstafool on Tumblr. 
> 
> http://heartsafool.tumblr.com/post/56343424381/sterek-hsau 
> 
>  
> 
> This story is also posted to Tumblr. 
> 
> http://textsfromteenwolf.tumblr.com/post/56845920072/its-hard-to-believe-you-love-me-when-the-trust-just


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